Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Becoming a stay at home Mom

Happy Veteran's Day!

To those who have served, are serving and have lost their lives protecting us,
Thank You
* * *
So - this post has nothing to do with Veteran's Day, but I need to put it out there...
Being pregnant with our first baby is so awesome.
It's so much fun to think about life when the baby comes.
It's so exciting to think about how much life will change, for the better.

One thing that has always been my dream, is to be a stay at home mom.
I knew pretty much since I was old enough to play house and play with dolls that I wanted to be a mommy. And as bad as this sounds, I never really had any "career" goals.
I never wanted to be a successful business woman.
I never cared about having a big fancy career.
I wanted to be a wife and a mom. That's it.
That being said, that is MY preference, and MY opinion.
In no way to I "knock" anyone for thinking otherwise.
In no way do I think ALL women SHOULD stay home.
It's just where my mind has always been.
And to the people who balance it all, amen to you!
Therefore, knowing this, and knowing that this is MY dream... I find it odd when people voice their opinions about it like being a SAHM is the WORST idea ever.
It blows my mind when I tell people I work with that I'm going to stay home with the baby after he is born and NOT come back to work...... and their reaction is, "oh I could never do that I need adult interaction" or "I'd go crazy" or "I'd miss my job"
For me it's the complete opposite. I'd miss my baby. I'd miss his first smile his laugh his smell, feeding him etc. 
I'd miss the important things in his life and just being there to see him grow every single day.
No amount of income is worth to me what being a mom is. 
Now on that angle - it's kind of the same idea...
I know not everyone can afford to do this, but knowing that this is something I've always wanted and my husband knowing this when we met, and being totally on board with it,      we always kind of planned for it.
So we were smart with things.
We planned for this indirectly. We're not in debt. We have new(er) cars, his is paid off and mine is affordable.
We live within our means.
If we want something, we save to buy it  - we don't throw in on a credit card.
Some of the things I've been told when I said I'm going to stay home is this:
"I could never afford that" or  "your poor husband is going to have to work his ass off"
While both are rude comments, I brush them off.
My husband is happy to support his family.
He has an amazing job and is fortunate enough to be able to provide for me and a baby without a problem.
But it's all relative.
For example: (and this is fake numbers for showing purposes)
Say we are approved for a mortgage of $450,000
That doesn't mean we're going to go out and buy a house for that amount of money!
BUT - some people do.
We would go for way less. Say, no more than $300,000
That way you can afford a house AND can afford to have a life.
If not, then you are what I call, house poor.
You live to work to pay for a house you basically can't afford.
Because whether or not the papers say we can afford that, the papers don't factor in cost of living such as: groceries, car payments, utilities, general spending money etc.
We know going in to this, that it is something we can afford.
I appreciate peoples opinions to a point.
I just feel like unless you are a close personal friend who is comfortable and candid with me, those types of comments are rude.
One should simply say "Good for you, that's great"
I dunno - maybe it's just hormonal me overthinking peoples comments.
But either way. Nothing changes my opinions.
And I know several of the readers here and bloggers I follow are SAHM's
So you get me!
Happy Wednesday!


  1. Good for you! I would like to be a stay at home mom but it's just not possible for my husband and I in our situations as I am the breadwinner in our relationship. Everyone's situation is different and I'm happy it works for you.

  2. For some people, it's actually monetarily worth it to be a SAHM due to daycare costs! That was the point with us. I was a half-time teacher Rhys's first year of life, and thankfully, we had a babysitter, so it was much cheaper than daycare, but it still took about 1/2 my paycheck. It was also a big huge relief of stress to stay at home because teaching I didn't feel I was giving my family, myself, nor my students 100%. Being a SAHM is awesome!