Thursday, May 7, 2015

Thankful Thursday ~ My Brother

On Tuesdays post I showed pictures from my wedding and one picture in particular I said was my favorite and I could write an entire blog post on it... so I decided to do just that.
Every little girl dreams of their wedding day.
The dress.
The flowers.
The groom.
And having their daddy walk them down the aisle.
I was no different...
I couldn't wait for that walk, and to dance with him at the reception.
My dad was my world. I loved him so much.
I hung out with him in the garage and worked on cars.
I called the house to talk to him, because let's face it, us girls call the house and say,
 "Hi Dad, is Mom there?"
I noticed I did this when I wasn't living at home, and I made a point to call and speak to him specifically. And now I'm happy knowing that I made that point.
I miss him every minute of every day.
When he passed away in 2011 I had JUST started seeing Ted.
In fact, the St. Patrick's day before April 11th 2011 I picked Ted up from his house to go to the parade in Seaside and brought him to my house to meet up with more people before we headed over there. My dad was working on a little car like he always did, and I said to Ted, "Do you want to meet my dad?"
He said, "Of course I do"
So I introduced them, they shook hands and that was the first and last time they ever met.
It's a bittersweet emotion really.
I'm happy that they met and shook hands, but I wish they could've gotten to know each other and that my husband got to know the amazing man that my dad was and that my dad got to know the amazing man that I married.
But since that is not the case...we make due.
Ted feels like he knows my dad based on stories we all tell.
We go to car shows and see my dads friends and they tell stories too.
It's a huge hole in all our lives, but we try to keep moving forward.
So when it came to asking someone's permission for my hand in marriage,
my sweet husband knew exactly who to talk to.
My mom.
He went our house when I wasn't home, and asked my mom if he could marry me.
Without any hesitation, she cried tears of joy and said yes.
 I was told later that he asked her if he needed to talk with anyone else before he proposed to me and she said no that she was it.
And she told him that my dad would be so proud and so happy.
They both cried.
So on April 28th 2013 Ted proposed to me on the beach where we had our first date.
I shouted yes and cried many many tears of happiness.
I called a few people right away to tell them.
And as the engagement set in more and more, I kept thinking about my dads absence for my wedding day. It wasn't something that brought me down, or took away from the incredible moments of happiness, but it was in my mind.
So when it came time to decide who would have that job I had 3 people in mind.
My Mom
My Brother
My Godfather
I talked to my mom about it.
She said it would be too emotional for her.
We discussed it on several different occasions because I wanted to make sure she wouldn't regret her decision. I was ok with whatever she wanted.
So the choice was between my Godfather, who is my moms closest brother, and MY brother.
My Godfather is incredibly important to me, but I only have one sibling, my brother.
I chose my brother, I incorporated my Godfather in other ways though ;)
Who else but the man who has a part of my dad in him.
Someone I looked up to growing up.
Someone who shares the same name as him...
Someone who on certain days sounds JUST like him...
but most importantly, someone to stand by my side on my wedding day and walk me down the aisle and give me away to the man I've always dreamed of.
I was a nervous wreck right before we walked through those doors.
I was so calm all morning.
Almost too calm.
The wedding party  and I were gathered in the entrance area of the church behind those doors behind us. The bridal party went down the aisle
as my brother and I stood off to the side.
As soon as they were done, the doors shut and my heart began racing.
All of a sudden I was OVERCOME with emotion.
I held my brothers hand and looked at him with tears in my eyes.
He told me not to cry, that this was a happy day and that my dad is standing right between us walking with both of us down that aisle.
I managed to get myself together as the wedding march started.
Then the doors opened up and it was time to walk down to Ted.
His smile beaming from ear to ear instantly calmed me.
I held on to my brother very tightly and smiled my way down that aisle.
When he gave me away to Ted, I hugged him long and hard.
He told me again that Dad was right here with us and not to be upset.
We said I love you to each other, and he told Ted, "She's yours now" and they hugged.
I didn't think it would be as emotional as it was, but it was.
I love my brother and I love having shared that moment with him.

Today, I am thankful for my big brother...


1 comment:

  1. This is beautiful. I definitely teared up. What a great brother you have.